No seriously. Right now. If you've found time to browse a relatively non-descript blog, you probably have the two hours you need to make the Lego Movie part of your life. It'll settle in as a non-trivial part, too. Once the waves of nostalgia stop crashing over your eyelids spilling tears of happiness down on your childhood, you'll realize that it doesn't have to be over. There's a pretentious Lego Architecture set at the local Barnes and Noble just waiting to be half-assembled on your kitchen table. That's the insidious part of the film, and the only bad thing you'll read about it. It really does kinda make you want to play with some fucking Legos again and screw the glue.
I'm avoiding spoilers in this first post so that, despite outrageous box office success predicted for its open weekend, those of you who might not have seen it yet won't dispatch disturbing emails or crayon-scribbled missives on parchment.
Chris Pratt, Will Arnett, Elizabeth Banks, Alison Brie, Will Ferrell, Charlie Day, and Morgan fucking Freeman (whose dulcet tones you'll also likely hear in a trailer for one of the most bizarre films I've ever encountered--a movie about lemurs that allegedly features dinosaurs, wacky monkeys, primatologists in the most stereotypical outfits you can imagine--and whose voice you still pretending is reading your favorite book on tape). The cast list reads like one of those terrible ensemble Valentine's films, but even Liam "the best part in Love Actually purely by process of elimination" Neeson's extended cameo is brilliant.
From the childhood-invoking cries of "SPACESHIP!!!!" to the undulating foam of Lego ocean, the script by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller is subtly inspired. I'll get into it in a later post, but the sheer mindcrunching genius of the story rivals Frozen for pure artistry.
Regardless of your own history with the building blocks of children's dreams, you'll find something to love over the movie's runtime. Will Arnett's camp Batman is a better portrayal of the world's greatest detective than we've seen since Adam West hung up the cowl. Alison Brie dazzles in her performance, as does the immortal Freeman. With more cameos than the latest Muppets adventure, the Lego Movie rewards the cinephile with a feast of famous faces, although they are, technically, voices in this case.
So go on then. I'll be here when you get back. Everything is awesome.